Day 79

**ugh. Today's his birthday. I hate remembering that. I hate that I've been thinking about him a lot lately and I finally didn't remember all day... and then I saw the date.... and it's his birthday...**

I've decided to start a project. It will be started on January 1 and it will be a voyage into self discovery. If it is successful, it will help to me attain a dream. Details not available at the current time.

So, I was looking on craigslist for a couple of minutes.. tempted to try to meet someone/people. but.. every time I try, it's just too much work and too much stress. When I post, I get too many responses and I don't think I'm interested in any first dates right now. Weird, I know. So, I don't know what to do. I'm pretty sure I'll just end up hanging out alone a lot for a while... but I think that might be a small price to pay for the lack of stress that not posting/responding will cause.

Meeting people is hard. Friends.. guys.. whatever. I wish I could take the internet friends I have that are all over the place and just put everyone together so I could have people to spend time with.

Not to mention... I'm lonely. I miss kissing. I love kissing. I miss being younger when I could go around kissing all of my friends or whatever. Now I'm all old and responsible... stupid stupidness.

Alright.. enough of this pity party.... I'm really not in this pathetic of a mood. I just kinda thought about it for as long as you took to read it :)